


Sober

by elena_stidham



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:53:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12328677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elena_stidham/pseuds/elena_stidham
Summary: This was for their own good. This was for their own good. This was for their own good. This was for their own good. This was for their own good. This was for their own good. This was for their own—





	Sober

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS FOR: SMUT and language, references to 2012 (this takes place in 2013)  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: It’s been a lot of various things, really. I can’t pinpoint one in particular.  
> I haven’t written porn in a long time. Well, I have, but it was an audio script. I’m talking full-on sentence on sentence fanfic action. Yeah, it’s been over a year. So!! Because of that and me recently diving right back into the Phandom let me practice on our favourite tall lesbians. And yes, the near hook-up scene was based on a true event that happened to me. Feel free to laugh at my shame, Abby (my beta for String Theory) already did xD My beta for this oneshot is my best friend in the whole world and of my whole life, Lily – I love her to bits – and so a big thank you goes out to her for doing this for me! I know it was awkward reading your best friend’s porn but oh well you agreed xD Anyways! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it!!  
> -Elena

The situation – using one word to describe it – was nothing short of just _weird._ It’s not like they couldn’t stand to be around each other like they used to six months ago, it’s not like they wanted to break up, but they needed a break.

It’s not like Dan wanted to hook up with someone on Tinder, but he had been starved of touch for so long, he was _desperate,_ and he knew asking Phil would be pointless. They were just friends now, damn it, why was he having such a hard time with that? He had to move on, sure, but through a hook up? It just didn’t feel right. Regardless of his uneasiness, he accepted to meet up anyway, and now he had to face this decision head-first.

_Fuck._

After he was finished getting ready – and by getting ready it just meant spraying himself with cologne and packing a condom, since who the fuck cares about looking nice to a hook up the clothes are coming off anyway – he knocked on Phil’s open bedroom door to get his attention. “I’m heading out,” he said.

“Where to?” Phil didn’t look up from his computer, but he could smell the cologne from there. He coughed slightly, “I think you over sprayed.”

“I just wanted it to last a walk through London,” Dan shrugged. “I’m going to meet someone I found on Tinder.”

Phil paused, looking up at his flatmate, and reached into his cabinet, taking out the lube the two of them had often used before. He tossed it over – watching Dan attempt to catch it and drop it to the floor with a deep sigh. He had to bend down to pick it up after it did. “Do you have everything else you need?”

Dan nodded.

“Alright,” Phil sighed, “Have fun. Be safe.”

When he left, Phil sat there for a moment, thinking about what just happened, before he felt his heart crumble. He hated himself for still having love there for his best friend; the last thing he wanted was another 2012 to happen. The breakup was for their own good. The breakup was for their own good. The breakup was for their own good. _The breakup was for their own good._

If it was to save them, why did it kill them at the same time?

 

* * *

 

It had been just a little over a half an hour; Phil had chosen to distract himself by toying around with a new effect he was trying to learn in his movie maker. There was an eerie silence in the flat at that moment, but the silence was quickly interrupted with his phone suddenly buzzing. When he looked over, it was a text from Dan.

**> >P**

He was confused, but then another text came after. Then another. Then another. There was _panic_ there; he could _feel_ it.

**> >Phil**

**> >Please**

**> >Call**

**> >Call me please**

**> >Please**

Phil didn’t know how to react at first, but the moment it registered in his head that his best friend was in trouble, he scrambled to unlock his phone – almost accidentally calling his father instead of his flatmate at first – but when Dan picked up on the other end it was clear he was uncomfortable.

“Phil?” Dan asked on the other line, his voice short of breath and the panicked undertone was very defined, but he played it cool. “Is something wrong?”

Someone was there.

With a deep breath, Phil nodded, knowing Dan couldn’t see it on the other end. “Yeah, there’s something wrong with the kitchen sink and I need you here _ASAP._ ”

“Yeah,” Dan mumbled, ruffling on the other line. There were murmurs, before he heard a door shut. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

There was a brief silence, before Phil asked again. “Dan?”

“Thank you.”

Three beeps rang in his ear, and just like that the call was done. He wanted to call again, but instead he waited, and about fifteen minutes later he heard the front door open and a sigh of relief. Phil walked to the top of the stairs, watching his friend and waited until they met eyes before he asked the question. “What the hell happened?”

“I saw a penis.”

  
Phil couldn't help but snort loudly, a genuine reaction that had a flicker of sarcasm in the tone. “Okay, Dan, I have some concerns.” He took a deep breath to push it off. “But seriously, what happened?”

“I got scared. I couldn’t do it,” Dan told him carefully as he walked up the steps. He hesitated at first, but then he leaned in and hugged his friend tightly. “Thank you.”

Phil, however, didn’t hesitate to hug him back. “Did he hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did he try to force you?”

 _“God,_ no. It wasn’t anything he did at all, I just…I got scared.” There was a pause, an unspoken way to ask him to continue, so he did. “I just got there, and it was awkward, and then he just kind of went for it – which I expected – and we were making out and he bites my nipple and then the next thing I know he’s pulling his pants down and I just… _freaked out._ I lied and said that I got a message from my brother and I had to respond and I just texted you for anything to get me out of there, and you did.”

Phil pulled away from him, knowing Dan’s lips didn’t belong to him anymore – that this was for their own good. What fucking good was it doing other than good for _nothing?_ He didn’t shame him, but he instead tried to change the subject into something light-hearted. Something funny. “He was that small that you had to leave, huh?” He chuckled, which made his friend giggle.

Dan laughed. “Then again, it wasn’t hard yet so I didn’t know the full potential—”

“—Wait, he pulled it out _soft?”_

Dan nodded with a shrug, as if that was okay, and the laugh that erupted from Phil was thunderous, something he hadn’t learned in a long time. “Bloody hell, Dan! You don’t just do that! Especially if things were already heated. That’s so… _weird.”_

Dan’s face flushed a little pink, but he felt a little better knowing that his flatmate was finding more flaws in his hookup instead of himself.

“Think about it,” Phil continued, calming his laughter down to something sustainable. “When we made love, did you ever see me soft?” When Dan shook his head, he just chuckled and finished his point with an “exactly,” before exhaling a deep breath.

“Well, sadly he wasn’t you,” Dan’s little snicker was breathy – light. “I missed you.”

“Me too.”

They stayed like that for just a moment, before finally, Dan gave in to the feeling he had been craving ever since January. He leaned in – their lips brushed for just a moment – and finally, they kissed. It felt like home, lightning captured in a bottle between two bodies as electricity passed through their lips with each touch. Each kiss held the power of the sun, their lungs singing with each intake of each other. Teeth clashed together in an elegant charm, small gasps escaped their throat with the gentlest of bites. Fingers tangled in hair.

Dan felt his body move and his back press against the wall, the hem of his shirt tickling his skin from tugging. Clothes were lost, lips were swollen, necks were stained with purple, collars were decorated with teeth marks; the bed became nothing more than a home for this memory.

_Home._

It was here where Dan and Phil finally felt at home; in Phil’s – no, _their_ bed – in each other, in love. Love was clear and defining, still very obviously there and held very dearly in their hearts. And it was in those moments, Dan knew Phil hurt just as much as he did, he starved just as long.

“Phil,” Dan whispered.

“I know Dan. I’ve got you.” Phil was exceptionally gentle then, trailing the softest of kisses down his neck and chest, but stopping the moment his face was in front of the bulge beneath the boxers his eyes were locked on. He looked up at his…whatever the hell they were – something finally clicking about what was going on when he asked: “Are you sure?”

 _“Yes,”_ Dan whined, desperate and needy. “I’m sure. I trust you.”

Phil smiled softly, before shushing the man beneath him quietly. “I got you.”

Their conversation stopped there, bodies functioning on autopilot as their boxers came off – somewhere in the middle Phil fumbled through pockets to find the lube. He couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw himself. _This is how a dick’s supposed to look after making out,_ Phil almost wanted to say, but he refrained. Now was not the time to kill the mood when he was so close to something he had been empty of for forever.

They kissed a few more times, with no real rhythm behind it.

There’s a small pause after they pull apart, before Phil leaned his head down and kissed Dan’s neck. “How do you want it tonight, Daniel?” he whispered breathily into his ear, sending shivers down Dan’s spine and through his skin.

Dan’s eyes were closed by this point, his breathing heavy and his body tingling with want. “Just keep it like how we’re going now,” he rasped. “Slow, gentle, easy to lose yourself…” his voice trailed off, but it finished his sentence anyway.

Phil smirked, his hand tracing down Dan’s chest and stopping over his boxers. Brown eyes locked with bluish green, a cloud fogging them all. “Gentle, like this?” If a voice were a human it would have twirled, bowing at the end as his hand started to tease the bulge underneath. Dan just hummed contently, practically melting into it. Phil growled softly, “Tell me what you want, Daniel.”

Dan quivered beneath the touch, his body reacting just as Phil remembered. There was nothing said for a moment, where the only thing that echoed in the room was the subtle rustle of cloth and gasping from the receiver.

_“You.”_

Phil blinked, almost not catching what was said, and he had to look up from the boxers to look at Dan’s face. There was a soft and sad look of desperation on his face, almost tearful. His voice cracked, it was clear what he was thinking about.

“Just you.”

Phil’s smile was heartbreakingly warm, and he let go of the man beneath him. “I’m yours, Dan,” he said. “You have me. I promise.” He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead, and then one more to his lips. There was no lust behind it this time – it was something else.

As they kissed, he slipped his hand into the boxers, fingers tracing down Dan’s cock before taking hold of it in his hand. He was slow in his movements, relishing the way the body beneath him would absolutely tremble. “ _Fuck,_ P-Phil,” he moaned softly.

Phil hummed his m sounds together in a low tone, savouring the sound in his ears before he swallowed. “Your moans get me every time, Daniel.”

“It’s all your doing,” Dan chuckled lightly, his hair falling into his face. He swiftly pushed it away, wanting to keep the man on top of him in his vision at every possible chance he had.

“I know. I just can’t help myself,” Phil smirked, before he took off the boxers, _finally._ He went to go grab the lube before he realised it wasn’t in the drawer like it was a few hours ago – then he remembered where it went. “Is the lube with your clothes?”

Dan was hazy for a moment, before he realised what was said and nodded. Phil gave him a quick kiss before he left the room, walking along the trail of clothes in their hallway and rummaging through them until he found what he needed. Cherry. He was hesitant, but he didn’t know what happened with Dan’s sex life between then and now – he knew he was clean, sure, but he was still left in the dark – he grabbed the condom anyway. When he came back, he took his own boxers off and climbed back into bed, placing the condom on the nightstand.

“Unless you’ve been sleeping with other people between the break up and now, you don’t need that, Phil,” Dan said. Phil couldn’t help to feel a little relieved, in a strange way. He knew that he had no right to feel possessive over his best friend, but at the same time he did anyway. Just the idea of anyone touching Dan that wasn’t him made him feel a little sick, and frankly, a little angry.

He knew from their first time exactly how much lube was too much – much to their hilarity – and from rough quickies in 2012 how much lube was too little – much to their misery – but he also knew, from all the times in between, exactly how much to use, every time, no matter how the situation varied. This time was no exception.

As always, he started with one finger; but with how quick it always goes, to Dan, it always felt like he started with two. It had been some time, so it stung, that’s for sure, but it felt fulfilling. It felt like this was supposed to happen, that _this,_ this is what was right, that _this,_ this is where they can find heaven. This is what they were born for – what they were destined to find – and they couldn’t do it by themselves.

Dan felt a lingering kiss on his jaw as he felt Phil’s fingers start to split into a scissor shape, pushing on Dan’s walls gently for further stretching. There were unspoken rules at this time, something they established in the very beginning, a few steps that were very simple to remember, and very hard to forget. They locked eyes as Dan was being stretched, and after a moment he just nodded. Phil raised an eyebrow, and Dan nodded again.

Phil pulled his fingers out, and he reached for the lube again. He spread it along his length smoothly before repositioning himself. He kissed the man beneath him tenderly, a hand cupping his face with featherlike grace. He asked the question one more time.

“Are you sure?”

The last time they had touched, they were rough. There was no gentleness there and there was no sex – a heated argument that had escalated, nails that carved, teeth that sank for blood, hands that touched to distort – there was only hurt. Right now, there was delicacy. Fragility. Sensitivity. There was everything that wasn’t there last year, everything that should have been there – everything that they needed to be there.

It was here.

Dan could feel it, and in the stuttering silence he felt himself nodding before verbally agreeing. There was no hesitation, before Phil pushed in and took both of Dan’s hands, lacing their fingers together tightly, placing one more kiss to his lips as he felt their hips flush together.

 _“Phil,”_ Dan pleaded softly, his eyes shut tight. Phil only shushed him and kissed across his jaw and neck, staying completely still as he waited for the man underneath to give the okay. When he did, that’s when he started to move. The pace was slow at first – tantalisingly close – and it took a few moments before unlaced his hands and pushed himself closer, the friction picking up in rhythm.

Phil could feel the tips of Dan’s fingers prod into the small his back, even though there were no nails there. Their faces were only inches apart, lips occasionally brushing together, seldom landing at the corners of Dan’s mouth. It was a kiss, but not quite, and in the faint softness of silence and breathing, there was music to be made here. It was here where Phil found, buried deep in Dan, that this is where they belonged.

 _This_ was for their own good.

The thrusts initiated the same response of a moan or a gasping breath out of either of the two men, and then with a slight alter of an angle, Dan’s moans started to hold a staccato. Phil’s hand reached down around Dan’s dick to match his wrist with his hips.

“Jesus Christ, Phil, I’m too close for that shit,” Dan moaned loudly, a deep groan pouring from his throat when the hand did not stop moving along with the friction.

Phil leaned down, his mouth right in Dan’s ear, and breathed a husky whisper against the earlobe. “What if I want you to come, hmm?” He purred.

Dan practically short circuited at the words, the way Phil sounded, the way a strong hand softened against his cheek – Dan shivered, Phil’s thumb gently pulling his bottom lip downwards. Dan decided to wrap his lips around the thumb, tongue flicking just along it, and even though it was only for a few seconds, the _noise_ Phil made was nothing short of animalistic.

Dan’s hands reached up behind him and clutched onto the headboard, pleasure rippling through his body as he felt himself boiling, boiling, _boiling—_

And then he evaporated. Dan could feel his body dissolving as a bright light stained the edges of his vision. His body jerked as he came, white stains spat on his chest and contrasted with the tints of pink underneath. It was like he had finished a dance; and this was the applause.

Phil’s release came quickly after, and he had managed to pull out in time to add to the collection across Dan’s chest. He rolled to the side when he finished, both of the boys on their back and staring at the ceiling with equally heavy breathing. They lay there for a short while, before Phil finally had the courage to reach his hand over, lacing his fingers together with Dan’s.

Dan held on just as tightly.

There was still an echoing silence, before Phil finally rose to his feet and walked out of the room for a few a moments, then coming back with a warmly damp washcloth and started to gently clean the mess across Dan’s chest. His body was intensely sensitive at this moment, and he winced at the touch, but with the warmth it was easier for him to relax against the wet movement.

When Phil was finished, he just tossed the rag into the laundry hamper, leaned down and kissed Dan one more time.

 _I missed you,_ it said.

Dan kissed him back, pulling him down and then just holding him snugly in a hug. The closeness he had craved finally came, and his chest had never felt so full.

 _I missed you most,_ it said.


End file.
